Iron Thunder: The worst movie ever made...ever.
Imagine that there was a chimpanzee that was capable of using a camera. The chimp could turn it on, start filming, and stop filming at his pleasure. A movie director decides to give the chimp his camera equipment for two whole months to see what the chimp can come up with after the set duration of time. Okay, now imagine that 2 months have passed. The director retrieves the camera back from the chimp but when he opens the camera to take out the film, he finds that the film is covered in feces. Somehow the director thinks this is a ground breaking phenomenon and sells this movie as if it were viewable.
The above paragraph is just a nonsense, hypothetical situation. But all jokes aside, that is what Iron Thunder is, a pile of crap some how converted into DVD form.
This blog entry is more of a warning than a movie review, I do not want anyone else to make the same mistake my friend and I made on that faithful day oh so many years ago. It started off as a regular rainy, boring Sunday. My friend and I were bored out of our minds so we decided to take a drive to Hollywood Video to rent a movie. As we were looking through isles and isles of movies, there was one that caught my eye:
"Whoa, this looks pretty sweet... look at the apache helicopters and awesome tanks on the front cover!" My friend ran over and we both decided we should check this movie out. I think the movie producers should be sued because the movie did not have tanks in it, unless you consider a cardboard box on wheels with a turret mounted on it a tank. There were no apache helicopters either, unless of course you consider stock footage of a NEWS HELICOPTER a goddamn apache helicopter.
Exhibit A: Actual "tank" from the movie:
After seeing that travesty of a supposed high tech military vehicle, we almost turned off the film 20 minutes into it. The story line is so atrocious and blotched up it isn't even worth explaining... but I will try anyways. A scientist developed a computer chip that can be implanted into the brain so this tank called the "Iron Thunder" could be controlled by thought. A military colonel named Nelson is the test subject but something goes wrong and his brain is fried. The test run goes awfully wrong when the Colonel starts to believe he is in battle and has the tank going straight toward Las Vegas. This concept could have been pretty cool if it wasn't for the low budget set, poor character design, horrible acting, lame special effects, and pointless dialogue that can make even a deaf person cringe.
After the movie was viewed, we took it outside and doused it in kerosene. From there you can imagine what happened but let's just say it was worth paying the fine back to Hollywood Video. For more information on this movie, check out: Bad Movie Planet for a hilarious breakdown of the movie piece by piece.
The above paragraph is just a nonsense, hypothetical situation. But all jokes aside, that is what Iron Thunder is, a pile of crap some how converted into DVD form.
This blog entry is more of a warning than a movie review, I do not want anyone else to make the same mistake my friend and I made on that faithful day oh so many years ago. It started off as a regular rainy, boring Sunday. My friend and I were bored out of our minds so we decided to take a drive to Hollywood Video to rent a movie. As we were looking through isles and isles of movies, there was one that caught my eye:
"Whoa, this looks pretty sweet... look at the apache helicopters and awesome tanks on the front cover!" My friend ran over and we both decided we should check this movie out. I think the movie producers should be sued because the movie did not have tanks in it, unless you consider a cardboard box on wheels with a turret mounted on it a tank. There were no apache helicopters either, unless of course you consider stock footage of a NEWS HELICOPTER a goddamn apache helicopter.
Exhibit A: Actual "tank" from the movie:
After seeing that travesty of a supposed high tech military vehicle, we almost turned off the film 20 minutes into it. The story line is so atrocious and blotched up it isn't even worth explaining... but I will try anyways. A scientist developed a computer chip that can be implanted into the brain so this tank called the "Iron Thunder" could be controlled by thought. A military colonel named Nelson is the test subject but something goes wrong and his brain is fried. The test run goes awfully wrong when the Colonel starts to believe he is in battle and has the tank going straight toward Las Vegas. This concept could have been pretty cool if it wasn't for the low budget set, poor character design, horrible acting, lame special effects, and pointless dialogue that can make even a deaf person cringe.
After the movie was viewed, we took it outside and doused it in kerosene. From there you can imagine what happened but let's just say it was worth paying the fine back to Hollywood Video. For more information on this movie, check out: Bad Movie Planet for a hilarious breakdown of the movie piece by piece.
posted by mross at 9:28 PM
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